Man's Best Fiend
by PS2wizard
Summary: This takes place during "The Lastest Gun in the West". Do you ever wonder where the dog that tortured Bart came from? Well it's easily explained when you see his master.
1. New Father

This takes place during "The Lastest Gun in the West"

Man's Best Fiend

**Simpson Household**

It's Saturday morning, and Bart and Lisa are watching Itchy and Scratchy. They're laughing their heads off as Itchy chops off Scratchy's head. The two are still in their pajamas as they sat on the couch as they ate Krusty-O's.

"HA HA HA! Oh man, you gotta love the classics." said Bart.

"Yeah, and I'm against animal cruelty, so this really is good." commented Lisa.

"HEAVY BREATHING*"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" shouted the kids. They looked to see a fat oaf in blue pajamas with a Darth Vader-like helmet.

"AHHHH! A fat Darth Vader killed Dad!" yelled Bart. He grabbed the lamp and started whacking the ting with it.

"BART! I'm not a monster who killed your father. I AM YOUR FATHER!" yelled Homer. He removed the mask Artie Ziff gave him to show Bart he was telling the truth. Bart just shrugged and continued hitting his father.

"Why you little- hey wait a minute. Where's Marge?" asked Homer.

"Mom left last night. She left a note saying she feels like Artie Ziff is watching her so she went to Aunt Patty and Selma." answered Lisa.

"Then why aren't you at the table."

"There's no TV at the table." replied Bart.

"Good thinking boy. NOw I'll just have Marge- what a minute. If Marge isn't here, then she's not in the kitchen. And if she's not in the kitchen, then she's not making breakfast. If no one is making me breakfast, then that means I have to make my own breakfast! I-"

_HOMER! This is your brain. Just shut up and slowly head to the kitchen and grab as much food as you can carry._

"Good thinking, Brain." Homer chuckled softly and went into the kitchen and returned with a stash of sugary, artery-clogging food.

"Hmmmm, artery clogging *glaaagghhh*" drooled Homer.

"Hey man, watch where you're drooling!" yelled Bart.

"Whoops, he heh. Hey why don't you have milk in your cereal?"

"I don't know how to open it."

"Stupid kid. Just watch the master." He started to grab for the cap of the jug, but then switched and grabbed the phone and punched in a few numbers. "Hello, 911? This is an emergency! I need you to pour me some milk. Hello? Hello?"

"So, how's it going master?" joked Bart.

"Shut it boy. Let's just call your mother." suggested Homer. He picked up the phone and dialed Patty and Selma's number.

"Hello" said a gruff voice.

"GO TO HELL!" shouted Homer and then he hung up.

"DAD!" yelled Bart and Lisa.

"Oops my bad." he redialed the number and someone picked up.

"Hello?" answered Patty

"Is this Patty or Selma?" asked Homer.

"Does it matter, fatso." said Patty.

"What's the difference, you're equally butt-ugly. Heh heh heh. Hello? Hello? They hung up on me! How rude!"

"Dad, give me the phone." ordered Lisa. She dialed the number and waited for answer.

"Alright Homer, if you don't knock it off-"

"Aunt Selma it's me Lisa." she said.

"Oh, what do you want?"

"Is my Mom there?"

"She was."

"What do you mean was?" asked Lisa.

"She's gone."

"Gone where?"

"Probably suffocated from their smoke or got crushed by their butts. Heh heh." chuckled Homer.

"I heard that. And for your information wise guy, she's at the police station." said Patty.

"What did you do!" yelled Homer.

"Well. last night we had a few glasses of wine, and we ended up repeating the Artie Ziff mistake."

"You mean meet him?"

"No, send an email to him. We were drunk and Marge was helping us with some online date site and we were sending messages to some guy, and... she wrote some bad stuff."

"Oh no, we better go get her out." said Lisa.

No wait! Homer listen carefully. We know the secret recipe for Duff beer." said Selma.

"WHAT! TELL ME YOU SHE-BEASTS!". He puts his ear close to the phone.

BLARRRRRE!

"AHHHHHHHH!" shouted Homer as he reacted to the klaxon.

"Heh heh heh." snickered the two.

**Springfield Prison**

Marge sat in a dark prison cell with a massive hangover. She didn't know why she felt like this but all she knew was that the cell smelled like urine. She tried to see what kind of crazy criminal she was sharing a cell with. She did like the fact she could sleep without loud snoring or Artie Ziff's voice. However, it didn't last.

SHINK!

She saw as the person on the top bunk drew a shiv from nowhere and woke up.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god. Just like in the movies Homer never saw but thinks he saw." Marge said to herself.

The inmate jumped off the top bunk and turned to face her.

"Get off my- Marge?"

"Jack?" Marge asked.

Getting a better look, Marge recognized the inmate as Jack Crowley. He had brown hair, a white shirt covering a six-pack abs, and blue pants.

"Marge Simpson, I haven't seen you in about a year. How have you been?" said Jack.

"A lot. I've been to Africa, played Tennis with professionals like Serena and Venus Williams, found a dead body, got sugar banned temporarily, and got arrested for threatening someone on the internet while drunk." said Marge.

"Wow. Sorry about scarying you. You were sitting on something" he said. Marge stood up and Jack pulled the sheets off to reveal some beautiful paintings.

"Oh sorry. I just thought you would be at me for ,you know, getting you arrested."

"Oh I don't blame you Marge. You're not the first person that ratted me out. Anyway, I thought you would be here to teach, not to get parole."

"Sorry, I'm not doing that anymore."

"Oh that's too bad. Lots of people here missed you, they said you were good for morale."

"oh, *murmur*."

"Simpson!" shouted Wiggum.

Marge saw that a Chief Wiggum was unlocking the cell.

"You're free to go. Apparently we made a mistake. Turns out prison and jail aren't the same thing. Boy is my face red." admitted Wiggum.

"Well it was nice seeing you again Marge. It was a pleasure seeing you. *sigh*"said Jack.

Marge looked back at Jck's cell and felt guilty.

**2 days later.**

Jack and the other criminals were in the exercise yard. Jack was trying to think of something to paint, but he couldn't find any inspiration. Or paint. Then he felt something at his feet, he looked to discover a kitten.

"What the-"

He turned to see police offiers handing out pets to criminals with Marge standing next to them.

"Marge? What in the world are you doing?"

"Well I felt like I shouldn't have just given up on you guys, so I risked my life to get some cats from that Crazy Cat Lady and went to some animal shelters that LIsa recommended and donated them to the Penitentiary to help calm some of the criminals and help with their, um, rehabillitations."

"That's really kind Marge. You're an inspiration to everyone. Who knows the kind of good this will do."

Meanwhile, in line for the animals.

"Next! Here's your puppy."

The guard handed the prisoner a one-year old dog that was white and friendly.

"You are so cute. I think I shall call you "Tybalt". And you shall be the key to eliminating Bart Simpson." said the crimnal.

"What have I told you about muttering about your evil plans." said the guard.

"Oh I am terribly sorry."

"Oh no problem Bob."

"Right goodbye." said the criminal known as Sideshow Bob.

Hope you enjoyed this firts part of Sideshow Bob's unheard of plan. PLease check out my other stories.


	2. The Training

For the next few weeks, Bob trained Tybalt to become a merciless, Bart-hating machine.

"Alright Tybalt. It is time for you to meet your enemy." said Bob. He pulled out of his pockket and Bart doll with needles in the eyes. "Whoops, forgot to remove them." He removed the pins and threw the doll down and Tybalt started tearing it apart. Bob stood there grinning at the dog as he watched the dog butcher the Bart doll. Bob also taught Tybalt who was good and who was bad.

"Remember, Bart bad, Bob good. Bart bad, Bob good. Bart good, NO! SHAKESPEARE'S WORKS ARE NOT A FIRE HYDRANT!" shouted Bob during one if his lessons.

One of his lessons he taught was to act innocent and acting. Bob started as Chief Wiggum started to eat a Krusty-burger. "Now remember what Daddy taught you." said Bob. He motioned for him to go, and Tybalt went.

"BARK!"

"Huh what's that?" mumbled Wiggum.

The fat cop looked down to see the pooch on his hind legs giving him puppy eyes.

"Awww, how could I say no to that?"

While distracted, Tybalt jumped and grabbed the burger and ran back to Bob.

"HEY! I- nah I can't reach him now. Besides he's too cute and harmless." said Wiggum as he pulled out a Duff.

"Hey can I have some?" asked Barney in the cell behind Wiggum.

"NO! You're in there for drunk driving. Giving you a beer would be the stupidest-" Before he could finish, Barney started copying Tybalt.

"Awww. How can I resist that." said Wiggum. He gave the drunk his beer and Barney drank it like a starving animal.

"Hey copper, can I have your car keys and tazer?" asked Snake.

"No Snake, you're a dangerous criminal whose broken into tons of houses and-" before he coudl finish it again, Snake started trying the cute look.

"Nah, sorry Snake. You're just not cute."

Snake stopped attempting and then kneed Wiggum in the groin and took his stuff, leaving Wiggum to lie on the floor in pain. "OWWWW! I have got to stop letting people take my stuff."

Days later, Bob had put the final touches on his perfect weapon. He started his last test in the work yard.

"Alright Tybalt, it is time to see if you can be the silent killer that I want." said Bob. He pointed toward Wiggum who was inspecting the criminals to make sure they were behaving. "Now lets see if you can resist attacking Wiggum." he said as he pulled a quarter from his pockets. He flicked the quarter and the coin stopped in front of Wiggum.

"Ooh, shiny." said Wiggum. He bent over to pick up the quarter, revealing some hot dogs in his back pocket.

"Now we'll prove that Wiggum shouldn't carry hot dogs in his pants." said bob. Tybalt walked towards Wiggum, motuh salivating. As tempting as the sausages was, he backed away slowly. "Excellent, now to make sure that you're a killer." Bob sneaked behind Jack Prowley and grabbed his paint and a brush. While Wiggum was still trying to reach the quarter because his belly was blocking him, Bob started to paint a picture of Bart on the cop's ass.

"Hey, that tickles. Whoever's behind me better not be writing something hilarious." warned Wiggum. Bob backed away to admire his masterpiece. "Now, ATTACK!"

Upon seeing Bart's face Tybalt snarled and launched at Wiggum, sinking his teeth into the copper's butt.

"YAOOOOOOWWWWWW!" shouted Wiggum in pain. "That's the third time that's happened this week."

Bob pulled Tybalt from Wiggum and stroked his head. "Excellent, you are ready."

Tybalt spent the last of his days with Bob digging his way out. With Tybalt being fueled by his anger for Bart, he dug like mining drill. Three days later, Tybalt had escaped from Springfield Penitentiary. It was dark, but with his blood-lust, he dashed into the night, as Bob cackled into the night.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HAH HA HA HA HAH HA HA-"

"SHUT UP! *Smack*"

"Ouch." said Bob.

By morning, Tybalt awoke with a grin on his face as he walked out from his hideout. He searched high and low for Bart but with little success. Everywhere he went, object's shaped liek Bart were torn to pieces. Pictures of Bart from stores that he was banned at, fence posts, an ice cream truck's motor that belonged to a man that said "Yeeeessssss", and Waylon Smithers. Tired, Tybalt nearly gave up his search when he saw Bart benind over to pick up two shiny dimes. He growled and moved in as Bart got free ice cream.

Hope you liked this and keep reading because there's more to come. Also, please review and check out my other stories. They're on my profile with a poll for my next big project. Sorry that this is shorter than the last one, I just wanted to update.


	3. A Dog Eat Bart World

Hope you like this.

Chapter III: It's A Dog Eat Bart World

Tybalt enjoyed his new freedom and life-sized chew toy. He enjoyed the fear he brought Bart just like his master did. From his teachings, he got away with all his crimes and even got awarded by the Simpson family. The only thing Tybalt despised almost as much as Bart, was Santa's Little Helper (SLH). He watched over Bart and was more loved by the family, making it harder for Tybalt to accomplish his missions. Santas Little Helper was stupid, but annoying. One day, Tybalt planned to finish Bart off for good. As soon as he saw Bart nervously walking to school near a house's hedges, he attacked.

"AHHHHH!" yelled Bart. The boy luckily jumped and was standing on the hedges, inches from the killer dog. "Eat my short stories." said Bart as he lodged a book of short stories into Tybalt mouth. Tybalt just tore the book to pieces and ran after his prey. He followed Bart to a strange house but had trouble getting through some bars that reminded Tybalt of Bob's cell. It took Tybalt a minute or two, but he squeezed through the bars. He stared at Bart angrily, not being able to move because he didn't know whether to attack Bart or act innocent in front of the old man near Bart. While frozen, the old man near Bart walked over to Tybalt and laid him down. He watched as Bart walked over to him and then something happened. He felt pure happiness. He felt the pleasure of 100 belly rubs all in one touch. His anger was replaced with happiness and he forgot his hatred of Bart. However, it ended when Buck McCoy called the police.

Bob was extremely disappointed. Just one week after having creating the perfect killing machine, it was ruined. He had watched TV every chance he could for any reports of Bart being mangled and hoped that the next time he would see Tybalt would be at Bart's funeral. Instead, he was reunited with the medium-sized white dog when Chief Wiggum found him outside Buck McCoy's estate. Instead of anger, Tybalt was filled with energy and happyness. What a waste.

"*Groan* Back to the drawing board." moaned Bob.

2 weeks later.

"Now we have something." Bob said as he admired his retrained dog. After releasing the hound once again, he awaited for Bart's demise. After some time later, Tybalt found his target. Bart was naming his heroes to Homer while the police arrested Snake and his companions. Buck McCoy rode off into the sunset as Bart waved goodbye. Homer looked at the sun for too long and fell to the ground screaming in pain. Tybalt took his chance and pounced.

"Oh man, not again." said Bart as he ran for his life against the dreaded dog. Bart ran as fast he could and even faster. He started running downtown and people watched Bart.

"Wow! Look at that kid run! He's an inspiration to us all!" said some random guy.

Among the watchers was Santas Little Helper who ran off from Marge during a walk. Happy to see him, the dumb mutt followed.

"Now a dog's following him."

"Let's all follow him." shouted another person.

Pretty soon, 20 people were chasing Bart. Suddenly, a guy who looked like a Bearded, dumb Tom Hanks ran up to him.

"Hey, I'm Forrest and I'm the only one who gets to inspire people with my running."

"Huh?"

"You're like a box of chocolates, sometimes you need to be thrown away." said the weirdo. He rammed into Bart and caused the little 10-year-old to tumble down a hill. While everyone followed Mr. Gump, Tybalt followed Bart down the hill. Bart crashed at the bottom with a lot of pain.

"*Groan* Why am I the only ten year old who has to put up with this crap?" he said to himself. Tybalt skid to a stop and slowly crept towards Bart. Bart cowered at being torn to bits, when he saw a ball of dust coming down the hill. As it reached the bottom, the dust cleared revealing Santas Little Helper tumbling down the hill and crashing into Tybalt.

"Boy!" yelled Bart happily. The two dogs got up and Tybalt growled fiercly at SLH. The two dogs fought each other like crazy. Tybalt lunged but SLH moved aside and sunk his teeth in. Tybalt leaped back and the two resumed their fight. Bart cheered SLH the entire time, but SLH was losing. He didn't know what to do. He looked round to find something but all that he saw was a road with one car. A limo to be exact.

"Hey you stupid dog! Why don't you come over here and eat my SHORTS!" yelled Bart. Tybalt sprinted toward Bart, ready for the kill. Bart ran across the street and Tybalt lunged.

CRASH

Tybalt went flying. Bart sighed seeing the dog down and ran over to Santas Little Helper. "You're the dumbest, best dog a kid can have." Bart said hugging the dog. The limo opened and Smithers ran out to check Tybalt. The limo window rolled down and Mr. Burns stuck his head out.

"Smithers! What's taking so long?" asked Mr. Burns.

"We hit a dog sir." replied Smithers.

"Well then just- wait a moment. THAT DOG IS WORTH A FORTUNE! Grab it and let's hope its alive."

Smithers grabbed the dog and brought into the car. Before leaving, Burns threw a wad of cash at Bart.

"You saw nothing." he said as he drove off. "Excellent. Score one for Burns." Surprisingly, Tybalt weakly woke up and saw Smithers. He growled seeing Mr. Smithers spiky hair, which was like Bart. With anger, he attacked.

Epilogue:

Smithers crashed the limo after being attacked by Tybalt. As punishment, Burns made Smithers repair it and made Tybalt part of guard dogs.

Sideshow Bob last saw Tybalt on TV as Mr. Burns new prized guard dog. Was sent to infirmary after Jack Crowley discovered Bob used his brush and paint to draw Bart on Wiggum's ass. Described afterwards as looking black and blue.

Bart Simpson spent his new wad of cash on comics, video games, candy, and fireworks. Marge confiscated them a week later.

After being temporarily blinded when looking at the sun, Homer Simpson made a quick recovery. Or he would have if he wasn't blinded by fireworks and video game lights. Blamed Bart for it.

Forrst Gump soon bumped off other famous runners as Maniac Magee and Jesse Owens.

The End

Hoped you liked this and if not sorry. I've been trying to get back on another series of mine and I wanted to finish this up as soon as possible. Please review.


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